Her Final Thoughts
by Fufuluff
Summary: His heart almost fell out when right there on the desktop, a file read: "TRUDY CHACON." He opened it within seconds, and a video popped up in front of him. And there she was- in all her glory, staring at him.


_**Author's Notes: **_

_**Trudy's final thoughts on the big, epic war between the Na'vi and the Humans. **_

_**I've only seen the movie once, so sorry if any terminology and stuff is wrong. **_

_**More to add to the Trudy x Norm section of Avatar! Woot! :3 This pairing is becoming more and more popular. I have to contribute... **_

_**Here's my shot at remotely depressing. /Wants to write fluff, but is making herself try angst. **_

_**So. Let's try this, shall we? **_

_**By the way, Norm isn't wearing an Oxygen Mask. Unless you want to picture him with a huge mask over his face crying and stuff... yeaaah... /giggles. **_

-

Norm, I love you!

Were the last words she said to him. Norm Spellman never thought that something as amazing as Trudy Chacon would walk right into his life... and then all of a sudden walk out. The aftermath of the war was brutal. For everybody. The bodies that had been found... the ones yet to be found. Norm let out a sigh as his fingers ran down the trashed bunker that he had spent so many moments in. The metal was scratched and dented due to the epic battle that had went on around here.

With a creak, the door opened. A gust of dust flew into Norm's face as he used his hands to shoo them away coughing. No, he didn't even have to use a mask anymore. His body seemed to have adapted to the air around him. His gaze drifted from the beds... to the computers... to the table where they ate... all the laughs they had shared were just all coming back to him.

Oh god, he was going to cry.

He sat down at the computers, grimacing slightly as he bent over. The battle didn't treat him well at all- he was just lucky his Avatar took the shot for him. Curiosity sparkled in his sad eyes as he looked at the computer.

He couldn't believe it. The damned machine had survived the attack? Impossible. He approached the thing with caution, as if it was some sort of zombie or something. He knelt down to get a better look at the flashing green light on the bottom area. That means the computer was still on. No freaking way. Suddenly compelled to browse through the old files again, he pulled the remains of a "chair" and used his finger to navigate through the files. His heart almost fell out when right there on the desktop, a file read: _"TRUDY CHACON." _He opened it within seconds, and a video popped up in front of him.

There she was, in all her glory staring back at him. There was an overwhelming power of emotion set in her deep brown eyes. Norm's eyes widened- was it luck that he would find this? He smiled as he leaned forward with interest, taking in all the detail of her beautiful looks.

_"Uh... hey?" Trudy waved at the camera awkwardly. "This is my attempt to do a video log." She chuckled slightly, shaking her head in a way that said: "What the hell am I doing?" She took a deep sigh and faced the camera. Her gaze dropped immediately. You could tell she wasn't very sure on how to begin. "Well... uh, today is a few days before the huge ass war." She pointed to the date on the corner of the screen. "Date's right here for y'all to read." She laughed at herself, "Though I think the only one who watch this would be Norm... By the way, your in your Avatar right now. It's damn quiet here and I'm bored... I'm doing this while waiting for you to come back from prancin' with the Na'vi." _

Norm chuckled, "Yeah. You're right." He spoke to her as if she was really right there in front of him. He listened intently for the rest of her words, not wanting to miss anything.

_"Yeeah. Well." She rolled her eyes, as if saying: "Screw this, I'll say whatever." Fearless, as always. "I don't usually take these damn video logs. But before something like this- hell yeah- maybe I should." She chuckled again, rubbing her hands together. "I have no idea how you just talk to camera like this, Norm." _

"You get used to it..." He whispered, amusement sparkled in his eyes. He was eager to hear what she had to say. "C'mon Trudy..." He urged.

_"I know, enough stalling. Okay." She sighed with defeat. "I guess I'll start from the very beginning. I'm a pilot, for anyone who gives a damn. My baby is Tiger, my Samson. She's a beaut." She made a gesture to the near window. "Outside havin' a rest." She commented, "Anyway. Came here for the good money that this "job" payed. I needed money... you know? I was just an amateur pilot. Well, that's what people said, though I'm fucking good at flyin' the damn thing. Anyway- it doesn't matter. I came here for the chance to fly on the awesome "Pandora" but more for the money. I ain't gonna lie... but then I met Grace." _

At the mention of Grace, Norm glanced down for a few moments. Grace. He just had to loose two people. Trudy and Grace- the women of his life. His mom and his badass girlfriend. Grace was his mentor and someone to talk to. She just had to get shot by that damn Quartich. His attention diverted back to the screen once Trudy began to speak again.

_"Ah Dr. Grace. She was one freaking cool cat!" Trudy joked, "I told her straight up that she was a freak. That the Na'vi people were freaks, and they were just livin' there to make our lives a hell lot harder." She broke out into a laugh, "Oh boy! That was probably one of the shittiest choices I ever made!" As her laughter died down an odd silence settled as her voice faltered on her next sentence. She quickly covered it up, "So Grace has left the crappy world and into a new one. Lucky bitch." She smiled sadly, "In simpler words she died. Damn... It's still freaking hard to believe."_

It was. It was hard knowing that both of them were gone. Norm let his elbow upon the table and he rested his head on his hand. "It's hard to believe you're gone too... Trudy..." He murmured looking at the screen fondly.

_"Anyway. Whatever." She flicked her hair out of her face. She wasn't finished though, you could tell she had more to say. "Sometimes I think that her death was kind of... my fault? If I never tried to rescue her... she would be alive." She commented her voice cracking again, she cleared her throat. "Yeah but then she would be locked up in a shitty ass cell with those two bozos." She laughed, "I'm playing with you, Norm." She quickly added. "Ah... the whole thought is just overreacting I guess. She would want to be out there, saving the Na'vi and stuff. She died with honor, as cheesy as that sounds." She cleared her throat again, "Speaking of the two bozos... Jake Sully."_

Jake? He hated to feel annoyed- but of course, he wanted to hear about himself. He remembered when he had felt resentment toward the free-spirited guy. He was all Grace talked about for such a long time. It was all about Jake- it wasn't fair! He had been training for five years- and he comes along, and wham- he's the star. Though, the thought didn't bother him anymore. Trudy helped him with that problem.

_"Jake, if Norm shows this to you- Your an idiot." Trudy snorted. "I'm kidding! Well- you really are, but in a good way. In a good way." She waved her hands with a gesture to make sure he knew she was kidding. "Wouldn't want your Avatar body to come eat me or anything." She winked, "Anyway. Jake. He's some guy." Trudy nodded, "A real free person. He doesn't believe he had limits despite his legs. That's something to be admired for. Problem is- he's way to free sometimes, and that gets him in loads of shit." She threw her head back as she laughed, "But hey!" She now spoke as if addressing him, "You managed to land yourself some Na'vi action, eh?" At this she laughed even harder. "What's her name? Nah-tari?"_

Norm winced at her bad pronunciation of the name. "Neytiri." He corrected a smile tugging at his lips.

_"Anyway, she's something- if you're into that kind of thing. Congrats, little bastard. She seems like a sweet girl... female... Na'vi...?" She huffed, "Woman." She decided. She froze suddenly as her radio sounded off in the background. "Shit." She hissed, reaching over to it. _

_"Trudy Chacon- state your location Miss!" Trudy rolled her eyes. _

_"Fuck off, Quartich." She didn't seem to care if the entire thing got caught on camera. _

_"Chacon I swear-" She threw the radio across the room. You could hear it shatter in the distance as Trudy face palmed herself. She took a deep breath through her nose as she looked at the camera once more._

_"Damnit." She mumbled, "About this war. Well, it's obvious now." She leaned back in the chair. "Between the Na'vi and the people. If you haven't noticed- I've changed." She swallowed- nervous to carry on. "These are people... just like humans. They just look different. Like white and black people- they're just blue." She chuckled, "Yeah. I would be damn pissed if someone bombed my "Hometree." I didn't sign up for that shit." She spat, "I didn't know we would have to divert to something as low as that. Well... I guess I did. But then... god, you guys really opened my eyes." She seemed to be referring to Grace, Norm, and Jake._

She was expressing how afraid she was. Not... in the way people most would, but she was afraid. From the way she kept having to pause in between words... you could tell she was scared. Where was he at this time? How come he wasn't there to hold her, kiss her and tell her it would be okay? Oh right. He was in his Avatar. He mentally hit himself.

_"Anyway, I'm not letting those shitheads get hold of that tree that's so special. Forget what it's called- and Norm- don't even bother trying to correct me." _

"Alright." At this simple word he could feel his own voice cracking. He sucked air through his nose, trying to keep himself from becoming a mess. How come he wasn't there at this point in time? He should have realized sooner that every second was precious. "You don't know what you got, till it's gone." He muttered to himself.

_"I guess you could say, yeah- I'm scared like hell for this..." Her voice trailed off, and that was it. When her eyes met the camera again, you could they were brimmed with liquid. "I mean... damn, I could die." She planted her face in her hands, taking a deep sigh. "I could die." She whispered again, the words were choked out. "Fuck, look at me." She smiled softly as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "One wrong move and it could be over for me. Sometimes I ask myself, "What's the point?"" She shrugged, "But then you realize- there is a fucking point. I'd rather die helping someone than die watching the problem happen right in front of my eyes. Worthless bloodshed isn't the way I roll." She sniffled again blinking a few times. "But shit... Norm." _

Norm perked up at the sound of his name.

_"Norm I don't want to leave you." _

But you did.

_"Norm you're the best thing that ever happened to me." Now, this was it. An actual tear slipped out of her eye. Then another. Then another. She didn't bother wiping the little droplets off her face. "Norm... I..." She kept having to pause, to clear her throat. "Damnit Norm! God... I want to thank you." She winced as if it brought her physical pain. She was just that scared. She was just that worried. "You're funny, you're sweet, your damn cute..." She rambled on about her lover. "I think the main reason I'm afraid of dying is because I don't ever want to be without you." She rushed through the sentence, as her voice began to crack. "But if I do die... during this... war..." Her eyes wouldn't meet the camera anymore. "I want you to know that..." Hesitantly, she let up again. "I want you to know that... you make me feel like I'm flying." She began to splutter her words, "Even if I'm not flying- if you're there, with your goofy smile..." She took the time to attempt to clean her face- but just became replaced with another set of tears. "I feel like I am."_

He could feel his eyes flooding with water. The vision of her on the screen became blurred. He wiped his eyes quickly, but the water just kept coming. He grabbed hold of the screen, "Trudy. Trudy I love you! Why did you... why... I ... you... me..." He stammered, he couldn't even complete his sentences anymore. He sighed, as he knew she couldn't respond. His head met the desk as he hunched over and hiccuped with sobs. "Why did this happen!?" He spat, his fist hit the desk. He looked at the ceiling now, wiping his face of the tears.

_"Shit... look what you do to me." She choked, attempting to smile. "Norm... I'm so damn happy to have met you. I can't imagine what my life would be like if you didn't come into it. Thanks for putting up with me." She rid herself of the tears with her sleeve. "Okay... I don't think there is much to say now. And y'all might wake up soon and ask why I look like crap." She smirked, "This is Trudy Chacon, singing off." _

So that was it. After that outburst he felt completely solid. Frozen in a memory where Trudy still gave him kisses. Where he could hold her hand and show her around Pandora. Blinking back into actual reality, he pushed the door open and stepped outside. He stood there looking at the bunker for quite some time and then he finally met the sky with his gaze. "You're really flying now, aren't you Trudy?"

_**Author's Notes: **_

_**Legit. I wrote this a week ago- but didn't have the heart to put it up. The piece seems messy to me. X_x Can y'all help me out and give me a nice critique? I don't usually write... sad... things...? Though I love a good angst fic.**_


End file.
